I Wish
by CrimsonShinigami
Summary: (YAOI Auron/Jecht) An entry for LN Tora's lyric wheel competition. Auron watches Tidus playing Blitzball and becomes thoughtful as to what will happen in the future - while thinking over what has happened in the past.


This is an entry for LN Tora's Lyric Wheel competition. The lyrics are at the bottom of the story for easy reference to the ones I was given.  
  
Title: I Wish.  
  
Song title and Band: I Wish. by Drain STH  
  
Genre: Rock? I'd definitely mosh to it.  
  
Author: CrimsonShinigami  
  
E-mail: gohanspike@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimers: No - I do not own FFX.isn't that obvious? *mopes* I don't even own a copy. Anyway.I don't own Jecht, Auron, Tidus or Braska and I do not own the song either.  
  
Warnings, Ratings and Pairings: SPOILERS. Lots of spoilers. This is a Jecht- x-Auron story. That means that there is a relationship of love involving the two men in the story. It is 'R' rated. This suggests that there may be some sexual references, violence or possibly incredible expletives...but is probably just put at 'R' because I'm too scared to put it on a lower rating.just in case.  
  
Other information: This was quite a hard song to do.the plot I had to figure out for once instead of it immediately coming to me - so there may be a few inconsistencies in how smooth the story runs - depending on how much of the plot I was aware of at the time.It's from Auron's POV, thinking back on Jecht as he watches Tidus - and so on.I hope you like it. I loved the song by the way.except from the first couple of bars you think 'Hold on.I didn't ask to download 'Wonderwall.' ¬.¬;;;  
  
Thanks for the challenge! On with the fiction!  
  
I Wish.  
  
"Will you stay with me my love Through ocean waves or stars above? Will you wait for me for years And steal away my silver tears?"  
  
Auron was sat silent - his single eye roaming out over the expanse of water before him. The glitter of sunlight coming off the clear and still water could have blinded him had it not been hidden down below the high collar. The loud call of a flying fiend as it flew over the top of the water and veered away was all that shattered the perfect silence - reminded Auron of where he was and what roamed here. Reminded Auron of why he was here.  
  
The water remained ice still for what could have been minutes - could have been hours. Auron's heart was still - caught up in his memories.wishing that this world was as still and calm as the water seemed to be.the water which killed so efficiently.  
  
The breaching of the surface almost startled him - watching the heavy blue and gold ball fly out of the water as though propelled by some incredible force. Again the already disturbed water was broken - another mass moving up after the ball so elegantly - and so precisely that it could almost have been impossible. The body of the new figure span - clothed being fluttering with water that flew away from him in all directions.blonde mass of hair somehow perfect, barely moving as the figure touched his hands against the water as though to steady himself, his body arching down to kick the heavy ball up over his head and down into the water before he too followed.  
  
The moment was over barely after it started - but for that moment the mirage had slowed to Auron's eyes. It has all been the same. This was the first thing he'd ever seen the dark-haired Blitzball player from the impossible land doing. He'd been thrilled - the strength and power in the actions.putting the long-haired, self-proclaimed guardian; himself in awe.  
  
Auron had seen his beautiful love again - in his son.and it stunned and upset him all at the same time. Had he any right to bring Tidus into this world? Did he have any right to take him away from the naiveties of his childhood and his fame into Spira to follow in his father's footsteps?  
  
Questions began to plague Auron and he moved to stand but found he couldn't - watching the water expectantly. Was it fair that Jecht had been brought to this world? Definitely not. The other man had been forced to abandon his child and his wife to become.to become a fayth.to become Sin. But then.how important did that make Auron's love.his feelings? So perhaps it was wrong to take Tidus on this journey.he couldn't bare to lose the boy as he did Jecht.so this time.yes - this time it would be different. He would destroy Sin.and no-one would take his place.  
  
That still didn't make what he was doing right. It almost seemed as though Tidus' life had been ruined unfairly. But then.the entire old world was destroyed. It was die or come here and attempt to destroy.in what may be futile but was the only chance.  
  
But maybe it was his fault.his fault that Jecht had been brought to Spira - that Tidus had been brought.and maybe it wasn't too bad. But it was almost as though the uneasiness of the world followed him. It was as though he would forever hold the world in balance - with such good and bad things happening to him. Maybe it was just something about him.almost viral perhaps that attracted these men to him. Jecht had been and now Tidus was too.  
  
But Auron couldn't see himself repeating those mistakes again.  
  
Not even if the boy was hopelessly in love with him would he allow it. He had already been in a relationship with the boy's father which made any other relationship with the same bloodline morally insecure. Add to that the age difference and his point blank refusal of any contact or emotion and Auron had become a brick wall. An old brick wall that was close to crumbling perhaps but still a brick wall  
  
Besides.Auron was still in love with Jecht. The man might be the reincarnation of the hundredth reincarnation of Sin.but.he was still Jecht. The man was still there. He and Tidus could feel it in Sin - that unbelievable strength and attitude that had belonged to the man that Tidus hated - to the man that Auron loved.  
  
Maybe Tidus was a fool to hate Jecht though. The man had sacrificed himself for Spira.given over to the power that was Sin to save his son, to save Auron.and what was it all for? Nothing. This thought exasperated Auron. Jecht need not have given up his life.but.in the end it would have been foolish to try and fight back at the time. This time Auron was stronger.and the other Guardians were strong too.  
  
Jecht.Auron could not forget him.and that was how it was meant to be.because he would be moving on to find Jecht in the Farplane once this ordeal was over. That alone was the reason why he couldn't be with Tidus.he had devoted himself to Jecht and it would be selfish to move on when he knew he'd see his love again.  
  
Shivering despite the heat of the day, Auron made himself slightly more comfortable. The ball rose once more to bob at the surface of the water before it began moving over the surface - seemingly on it's own. A splash of water and two legs came up from the water to kick the heavy ball over towards the shore. It barely missed Auron, catapulting past him and splashing him with sand and water - much to his distaste. It fell to a stop nearby and the unmoving Auron continued to watch out over the water - not even sparing a glance at the ball as the water broke once more - the blonde headed figure simply walking out of it until he got to the sand once more, progressing over and slumping down beside Auron.  
  
The closeness of the moment made the elder man want to reach out and touch the boy.wishing that he was Jecht. How often had it been that he'd had the soaked Jecht so close to him after his Blitzball workouts? And every time.yes.  
  
//flashback//  
  
Auron couldn't help the hint of a smile as the dark haired man finished his final stunt - the heavy, dripping Blitzball flying up over his head and landing on the grass past the edge of the beach. Looking back expectantly to the water Auron waited for the man to reveal himself - and he came - practically leaping out and rolling on the sand.completely covered in the little wet grains but rolling to his feet again and smiling expectantly.  
  
"I'm not one of your groupies, Jecht." Auron vaguely remembered himself saying.  
  
Jecht had moved over and slumped down beside him comfortably, gazing up into those mahogany eyes accusingly. "You may not be my groupie.but I could make you more." he'd teased.  
  
"Don't be too sure." Auron had said - then paused, glaring at the elder man for a moment. "Whatever do you mean.more?"  
  
And then it had happened, the black haired man moving so close - salty tasting, wet lips falling onto Auron's - surprising the man to open his mouth while Jecht deepened the kiss. Inside Jecht's mouth the taste was so different - unbelievably sweet and fruity. It kept him caught in it's spell for a few more moments before finally he pushed back from Jecht, panting heavily before looking up into the man's laughing eyes.  
  
He fell back as Jecht pounced him - gazing up into the other's eyes and shaking his head a bit. "I knew you were trouble."  
  
"Mmm.do you mean it?" replied Jecht, moving down once more to procure the other's lips once more - this time the kiss holding as they began to wrestle each other for dominance.Jecht winning none the less and beginning to undress the other man slowly as his prize - enjoying every moment. Enjoying every moment.like Auron enjoyed the night - and almost every night after.up until the final battle.  
  
//end of flashback//  
  
"Auron.what are you doing?"  
  
Auron opened his eyes quickly to find Tidus peering up at him - his eyes wide in shock and a rich blush over his cheeks. Checking his position Auron found that he'd pushed Tidus down onto the ground and moved up above him. He slowly moved back, letting an uncomfortable cough fall from his lips.  
  
Tidus sat up slowly, looking over his fellow Guardian coolly then turning his eyes away. "Jecht?" he asked softly.  
  
There was it - that knowing that Auron had seen secretly in those soft blue eyes - eyes that were so like Braska's but so unlike Jecht's.that was what Tidus knew.but for how long had he known it? And how did he find out?  
  
"Yes." Auron replied gently; almost unsure to let the word fall over his tongue and pass out between his lips into the rapidly chilling air.  
  
"Is there something I should know about you and him.?" Tidus queried - that innocent expression still printed on his face - the same innocent expression that had prevented Auron telling Tidus who and what he was.  
  
Auron stood without answering the boy then paused, glancing down at him. "At the end of this journey I will be.seeing your father again." he motioned slowly - gazing will-less up into the darkening sky - the first stars appearing for their night's stay.  
  
//flashback//  
  
Jecht stepped forwards boldly - Auron looking on in shock and pain, unable to move and stop his beloved from doing what he hated - from giving in to the awful lie.  
  
"I will become the fayth."  
  
The pain and fury washed over Auron's body - making him ache in anger and hate. Who was this woman to take away everything that he cared about? To take away first Braska and now Jecht - a man who didn't even belong in Spira in the first place. It was unfair.  
  
The words came to Auron but already it was too late - he wanted to speak but his throat was gagged.  
  
'I love you' only a passing thought as his world - his story - span out of control and ended.  
  
//end of flashback//  
  
"Leaving me.?" Tidus questioned, slowly standing to look over at the other and follow his gaze before returning to the bearer.  
  
"Yes, Tidus.I've said before that this is your story.not mine."  
  
"It's not a story, Auron.this is nothing like a fairytale.this is my life."  
  
The elder man levelled his gaze on the young Blitzballer and then moved uncomfortably. "Yes.it's your.life."  
  
Auron left Tidus there after that, moving away towards the peak of the nearest hill where a few pieces of metal and wood were dug into the ground. A windmill had stood there in the distant past and the decrepit pieces of wood were all that was left of the sails.  
  
Auron felt older than he was as he sank to sit on the stony blocks which had been steps in a previous life, gazing upwards once more. What had he become now.? Abandoned by Jecht and Braska he had been left entirely alone and the loneliness had eaten at him to a point where he couldn't even stand to be around others.and worse.he was wrong to be around others. He only caused pain to the ones that cared for him; Tidus, Jecht, Braska.and his aching heart.  
  
He had to hold on though.didn't he?  
  
Auron grunted - lifting his head to the rapidly brightening stars over head, letting his eyes slide over them. He wondered whether he'd be able to see the stars in the Farplane.wondered if he'd be able to sit and watch the stars with Jecht.  
  
He dreamt of sharing many romantic moments with his lover - dinner in the moonlight on a beach - or a silent evening watching the sun set over the horizon. He imagined boat rides on still lakes and relaxation in grassy meadows under the shade of a huge, old tree. Mostly though, Auron dreamt that he'd still be able to be with Jecht in the Farplane - after all that was the most important - even if they were both just spinning pyreflies. He dreamt that Jecht waited for him and didn't choose to go on with anyone else.that there was love waiting for his tired, pyrefly fuelled body.  
  
Auron found he'd lowered his head in his thought and he lifted it once more to the sky, watching a lone pyrefly slide in and out of the specs of starlight on it's travels. He sighed softly and lifted his hand slightly - the fly moving through it before disappearing on it's course to the Farplane.  
  
//flashback//  
  
"Do you ever find yourself looking at the stars.?"  
  
Jecht lifted his head and glanced over to Braska who was sitting quite comfortably on a rock. Auron looked on as always - just watching the Summoner and his Guardian.  
  
Braska looked over slowly to Jecht and let that winning smile cross his lips slowly. "Well?"  
  
"I.can't say I have." Jecht replied, turning his head to look up at them. "There's never been an appropriate moment."  
  
"Aren't they romantic.?" Auron had heard himself say aloud - pausing as two sets of eyes fell on him.  
  
Jecht was the first to comment wryly. "I wouldn't think of you as the romantic type, Auron.you give more of a 'tease-'em-until-they-drop' kind of attitude."  
  
Braska had laughed light heartedly and stepped from his rock to walk to Auron's side, patting him gently on the back and giving him the knowing yet innocent look that was oh-so-familiar now. "It's okay.I promise you and Jecht will get your candlelit dinner together some day."  
  
//end of flashback//  
  
Auron was looking forwards to that day.  
  
The elder man wondered if Jecht had changed much from being Sin.whether he'd be hollow, or silent - anything other than the hyper man that he'd been in love with. He decided that not even that could change people, pausing to let another small glance at the mocking stars.  
  
As his gaze descended, the tiny movement of water on the far horizon caught his attention - the slide of a rapidly growing object as it rose above the water - to what must have at least been thirty or forty feet tall. The dorsal fin of the creature called Sin.the only sin Auron was accountable for.Jecht.  
  
Auron narrowed his eyes, it was almost impossible to see from this distance but he knew what it was and he slowly leant a little back as the memories began to wash over him anew.tears streaking down over his impassive cheeks - only one for each eye.  
  
His dark eyes slid shut as cool hands moved over his shoulders, stroking down over his back slowly then rising to move the tears from Auron's face - although they remained untouched. They caused Auron to relax back against them: Jecht plagued his dreams of late - almost making him not want to wake up. The touch of the man's hands would take him into sleep and he would stay there.which accounted for his lack of sleeping lately.  
  
The hands moved further down, and Auron relaxed against the invisible heat of the body - his body leaning just that little too far back and he fell down off the steps to land on his back. Rising with a soft 'humph' of discomfort Auron took his place once more on the steps, hearing the rising footsteps on the walkway that rose up the hill.  
  
He turned slowly, his eyes fixing on the appearing figure of Tidus - twisting it once more to fit the visage of his loved one - of Jecht. Auron shook it off forcefully, closing his eyes to look into the reflective black depths of the water below him - the dim reflection of stars making up nothing for their former glory in the heavens. It was this information that struck Auron - made him pause in his line of thought and think anew. Seeing Jecht was all well and fine.but it would make up nothing for actually seeing the man again. To see Sin riding over the ocean made him pained.Sin was nothing like Jecht. And Tidus - although there was some resemblance to his father - was nothing like him. Not even the orbs they'd found depicting the past showed how wonderful Jecht had been. Nothing would make up to seeing Jecht once more.it was all Auron dreamed of.all he wanted - was to touch the man, hold him close and tell him of his love for him.  
  
Auron wished that perhaps their time together back in the days of Braska's journey had been longer - that he'd had enough time to share loving moments and tell Jecht how much his heart belonged to him.but it was all fruitless.why wish for something which could not happen?  
  
But then.perhaps it wasn't utterly useless. In the very end Jecht was waiting for him.he must be! Everything would be worth it and he would finally be able to complete his romantic ideals.he would be able to spend his eternity with Jecht.  
  
All would indeed be well for Auron. Slowly he lifted his hand to stroke back the tears from his cheeks. There was no need for them now - after all - he was close to the end of his story. Once it was over he'd be able to enjoy forever in the hands of his lover. It was all clear to him now.he would only strive for that moment. There was no need to care - to show any emotion for it during the time. All that mattered was winning! Destroying Sin and the lies of the Maesters once and for all and breaking the cycle! Breaking the cycle to give him all he wanted in life.  
  
Auron didn't even move or twitch away as Tidus sat down next to him and looked up to the sky above him. He watched the water into the depths of the night - staring towards the future while Tidus looked towards the distant past in the oceans of stars above.  
  
The End  
  
Lyrics  
  
Drain STH - I Wish  
  
Am I too corrosive? Am I just too weak? Am I too contagious? Or am I just a freak?  
  
I wish that I could hold you I wish that I could hate you I wish that I could hold you one more time Just one more time  
  
Am I what you made me? Am I what you'll reap? Am I all you dreamed of? Or am I just a creep?  
  
I wish that I could hold you I wish that I could hate you I wish that I could hold you one more time Just one more time  
  
I still see you in my mind Wish that I could have more time I know that it will be just fine All is well now no need to cry  
  
No need to cry No need to cry No need to cry No need to cry  
  
I wish that I could hold you I wish that I could hate you I wish that I could hold you one more time Just one more time  
  
I wish that I could hold you I wish that I could hate you I wish that I could hold you one more time Just one more time  
  
Just one more time Just one more time 


End file.
